A Place Called Happiness - my story of seeking out a happier life and a new personal development training that will help on your journey to a happier and more fulfilling life. #findinghappiness #meditation #personaldevelopment #mindset #conlonlaceblog
lifestyle, Personal Development

A Place Called Happiness

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Do you struggle with finding happiness?

I know that I struggled with this for many years. I would wear this smile and act as if life was easy and that I was in a good place.

Good mentally, good emotionally, good spiritually. You know, all the things…

Well.

I wasn’t.

Many of us aren’t.

But we all can agree that life isn’t easy, either.

It’s hard.

We all struggle at times. Some more than others.

And many of us pretend.

Curve balls get thrown at all of us. We experience things we consider to be unfair at times and we may blame our past or how we grew up for our problems now.

We may even blame other people for our unhappiness.

I definitely delved into some of these ideals for many, many years, unfortunately.

A Place Called Happiness - my story of seeking out a happier life and a new personal development training that will help on your journey to a happier and more fulfilling life. #findinghappiness #meditation #personaldevelopment #mindset #conlonlaceblog

A Place Called Happiness

My place of unhappiness

My belief was that because my father left when I was a baby that I wasn’t enough. I carried that for a long time. Maybe even sabotaging relationships because of that belief.

I put myself into tricky situations as a test to myself. Examining my reaction and searching to see if I had the ability to escape them.

Indulging in the excess, ignoring my truth and pretending my dreams were unattainable.

Yep this was me.

For way too long.

It would come and go in waves. That feeling of unhappiness.

And finally I got to ‘a place called happiness‘ or so I thought, and it was nice for a bit, but then my mother got sick and shortly after her diagnosis I had a personal loss. I began to question everything around me. I would question the loyalty of those in my world and almost like a domino effect my world came crashing down.

Maybe I hit rock bottom. That could very well be. I continued to live in a state of denial. Denial about my truth and how my mother’s sickness and my loss was really affecting me. All I wanted to do was distract myself from the real pain I was feeling.

Because I didn’t want to feel it.

While I could see the positive perspective, I wasn’t actually living in that head space. That’s the difference.

And that carried me through some years…utter and pure denial.

Then I lost a son and some time after that we lost my mother.  With that, it was as if a complete tidal wave took me along the current in such an explosive way. All of that denial, that pain,  and all those buried truths came flooding to the surface, suffocating me.

Finally, I could see clear. I could see my life as it was, as if I had blinders on before then. I was awakened to everything I had buried for soooo many years. My spirit woke up!

In letting all that pain boil over, I woke up!

And it all became too real. That is where my soul-searching began.

But with that, came the conclusion of how I was living all of those years with all of that pretending, the ignoring, the blaming, the dislike towards myself, the excuses…

And coming to terms with myself, that it was all just shit.

It’s within you

Life is just worth so much more.

We have so much more power!

It is almost unbelievable, that we as humans get to experience the things we can.

We have the ability to achieve amazing things!

That is REAL life right there.

All of that living in the past, blaming the mistakes of my father, giving disbelief all the power, not listening to my inner voice, not forgiving and loving myself is ALL of what kept me from real happiness.

I am the only one that kept myself from being happy. Me, myself, and I. No one else has that power.

YOU are in charge of your life and how YOU choose to live it. Nobody else. YOU can seek deep down within yourself and find that light.

There is a spark there that will take you to the top.

So change it

We all have a choice. Wouldn’t you say?

When we find a positive mentality and stay in that space, no matter what life throws at us. We are unstoppable.

Related: My Negativity Cleanse Experience

Filling our hearts with gratitude for the people we love, the things we have and the experiences we get to live will not fail you.

It will lift you up. This will attract happiness to you.

It may not happen overnight. But with practice and with habit, letting all that negativity go is within reach.

Today is always the best time to do anything

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Hey Christina. I found you on Bloggers Traffic Community.

    First, I want to comment on the appearance of your post: I like the airy spacing; it’s not bunched together and hard to read, it’s very easy to read and I like your conversational tone. I like the copy being marked out with headings. I like the large quotes.

    Content: You told us part of your own story, how that made you feel, so that the reader can identify with you.
    I agree that hurt, resentment, sad circumstances are heavy weights that weigh one down. Reliving hurtful times only reinforces the hurt and resentment and it replays the hurt all over again. Sickness and death of those you love can certainly bring on depression and a heavy spirit.

    Releasing those negatives is so important to spiritual, mental and physical health, but, as you know, it’s very hard to do…to let those things go and leave them there, not picking them up again. It’s true that the love of self, the respect for oneself, believing in oneself, are all part of the healing process.

    I spent several years taking care of my mom, from when she was 89 till I HAD to let someone else care for her for her last 8 months on this earth, when she passed at 93. This was the hardest thing of my life, as she became more an more dependent on me to the point that I almost lost my mind and felt suicidal. It hurt to have to give her over to the care of others, but at the same time, it was a relief, and I could then begin to find my own self again. But, still…it really saddened me that she was not living with family..

    Then, a few years later, my sister disappointed me terribly and broke the trust I thought I always had with her. This has been very, very difficult to bear, and I have had a terrible resentment toward her for her actions.

    Trying to heal oneself is a noble cause, and certainly becoming more positive, and allowing yourself to forgive yourself are honorable and worthy pursuits. But, I have to say, that, for me, I couldn’t have come through those very difficult times without God, who held me in His hands, close to His heart, and walked me through the darkness. I’m still depending on Him to bring me all the way through, as I still hurt, but am much better and lighter than I was in the dark days.

    Blessings,
    Cindy

    1. Thank you Cindy for your thoughts and sharing your story. I can most relate to your experience with your mom as I spent some time taking care of mine until it just was to hard to handle at the time. The Lord is what gets me through as well. If I talk about energy or the universe, He is what encompasses that to me. Having faith, embracing gratitude and actively growing from my most inner being has brought me to a place of understanding and therefore happier.

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